England Dressing Room Trespasser Just Looking for Toilet

 

So it turns out the man who was first reported to have angrily breached security and invaded the England dressing room following England's supporter-infuriating 0-0 draw with Algeria on Friday -- an incident that sparked furious safety concerns and a police manhunt -- was just looking for a bathroom. But the fan says he did make the most of his accidental encounter and told the team what he thought of their woeful performance, even though David Beckham claimed he just said "hello."

Mortgage advisor Pavlos Joseph is the man whose bladder caused this whole mess. He's been banned from attending future World Cup matches. Before being charged with trespassing by Cape Town police and released on bail, he told his hilarious and unbelievable story to The Mirror:

“The crazy thing is I only went looking for the toilet,” says Manchester United fan Pavlos, 32, from South-East London, who has followed England home and away since he was a schoolboy. [...]

“I found a security guard, who sent me off back along a walkway underneath the stand out on to the pitch in the direction of the players’ tunnel and explained that there were toilets near there.

“I walked across the grass and up through the tunnel. Eventually, I took a right, down a corridor and before I knew it I found myself in the dressing room. There was no door.

“The next thing I knew, there was David Beckham standing in front of me."

Hardly an elaborate plan carried out by an irate supporter looking to unleash his wrath on the squad he paid thousands and traveled a great distance to see. But wait! It gets weirder:

“I saw Joe Cole walk naked out of the shower a few feet away from me. He glanced at me and then did a massive double take. [...]

“Suddenly David spoke. He took a step towards me and said, ‘Whoa, who are you?’

“At first I didn’t know what to say. I glanced around at everyone again and then looked back at him. I said, ‘I’m ­Pavlos and I actually need the toilet.'"

So you've got a naked Joe Cole and a lost mortgage advisor that says "I'm Pavlos and I actually need the toilet." This is a comedy routine, right? People are actually panicked about this? They're not just laughing so hard that they look upset?

But Pavlos didn't squander the moment on simply stating his need for a toilet:

For a moment, no one said a word. Then I thought, ‘What the heck. I’m in the England dressing room. Why not say something?’

“I looked David straight in the eye and said, ‘David, we’ve spent a lot of money getting here. This is a disgrace. What are you going to do about it?’” [...]

“I told them, ‘That was woeful and not good enough’. The room was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. The ­players’ chins were on their chests — they looked pretty ashamed.

And with that, a FIFA official ushered Pavlos out. He says his ejection from the dressing room was so casual that the FIFA man even agreed to take his mobile phone and confirm his story to his disbelieving cousin before finally showing him to the bathroom. The police, apparently, aren't as convinced of Pavlos' wacky tale and are going through with trespassing charges.

Even still, Pavlos has no hard feelings for the team that let him down:

“If any of the England boys ever need any mortgage advice, I’m here for them — and I’ll get them a good deal.”

Pavlos Joseph: mortgage advisor, inadvertent trespasser, demotivational speaker, man in need of a toilet ... England supporter hero? I nominate "I'm Pavlos and I actually need the toilet!" to be English fans' battle cry for the rest of their team's World Cup run.  

Scandal Rocks French Team in World Cup

 

A training ground argument between French captain Patrice Evra and fitness coach Robert Duverne had to be broken up by manager Raymond Domenech. This was followed by the team's refusal to train and the resignation of team director Jean-Louis Valentin on Sunday. This comes a day after the revelation that striker Nicolas Anelka was being sent home early because of his profan e words for Domenech and Evra's public assertion that they have a traitor in the team that must be eliminated. The French are in a full-blown meltdown now. Mayhem is upon them. 

Valentin's resignation quickly followed the astonishing training ground scene. From the AP:

“It’s a scandal for the French, for the young people here. It’s a scandal for the federation and the French team,” Valentin said. “They don’t want to train. It’s unacceptable.

“As for me, it’s over. I’m leaving the federation. I’m sickened and disgusted,” said Valentin, who walked away from the training field, got into a car and drove off.

After the argument between Evra and Duverne that ended with Duverne throwing his badges to the ground and walking off (UPDATE: France Football reports that the spat began with Evra accusing Duverne of being the traitor), the team boarded their bus (pictured above). Domenech then read a letter from Evra and the players to the press saying that they were boycotting training in support of Anelka, who reportedly announced his international retirement after his dismissal on Saturday. 

Simply put, this is madness. And there's surely more to come from this French squad as they still have one more group match (will they even play it?!). Wow.

FIFA World Cup’s Biggest Problem

 

After more than a week of soccer field battle, here it is the FIFA’s biggest problem facing now.  The crucial calls that referees are calling in the previous games.

The sending off of Brazil’s Kaka on Sunday night in a 3-1 win over the Ivory Coast was merely the latest in a litany of atrocious decisions by the men in the middle to cast a shadow over the sport’s showpiece event.

Kaka was given a second yellow card by French referee Stephane Lannoy  when the Ivory Coast’s Kader Keita was not looking where he was going and collided heavily with the Brazil midfielder. Kaka merely held his ground for the inevitable contact, and the incident in no way warranted a free kick, let alone a yellow card.

A serious mistake was made. Kaka should suit up for Brazil in its Group G finale against Portugal on Friday but instead he will be suspended due to Lannoy’s erroneous red card.

So what about the repercussions for Lannoy?

Well, let’s see. First of all, he gets a chaffeur-driven ride back to the luxury base where all the World Cup officials are cloistered, away from the prying eyes of the media, or God forbid, the public.

Lannoy’s performance will be evaluated like all others – by the FIFA referees committee. The review may be expedited due to the glaring nature of his errors. Yet until he is either called to officiate another game or removed from the final shortlist of elite refs who will take charge of the all-important knockout games, he can remain in his happy little bubble.

And therein lies the biggest problem with the World Cup.

Human error is part of sports and with FIFA having taken the decision to steer clear of video replay, it is inevitable. But this is the World Cup, the best of the best. Except for the men in charge.

Just two days after the United States had what would have been an invaluable victory stripped away by Mali official Koman Coulibaly, Lannoy messed up. Not once but twice.

First, he allowed Luis Fabiano to clearly handle the ball en route to scoring a spectacular goal that put Brazil up 2-0 on its way to a comfortable victory at Soccer City. Then, with time running out, he found himself in an obstructed position and misread the collision between Keita and Kaka. Ivory Coast head coach Sven-Goran Eriksson claimed that Brazil “shouldn’t complain, they got a goal for free and it changed everything.”

There is no foolproof solution to this, but if FIFA, as it insists, is truly interested in making sure its referees are up to international standard it has to stop treating them like children. Referees should be made available to questions from reporters after each game, so that the fans who have spent good money to come to the tournament or given their time to watch it on television can get some answers for why their team was gypped.

What we should be talking about is the brilliance of Brazil, which with two goals from Fabiano and one from Elano, produced the best display of this World Cup so far. We shouldn’t be talking about a Frenchman who works as a video games distributor when he is not taking charge of real life matches beamed around the world.